Wish You Were Here

7/30 – Downtown Park

I don’t know why I came here… Maybe because it’s kind of a sacred place for me…

M and I ended up here on a stormy night not too long after we met and started dating… We sat in my car and talked for probably a couple hours. Shared a lot of untold pieces of our lives that night, and were better for it, I think. We were here until the police car rolled in to make sure people weren’t sleeping in the parking lot or something.

He and I have been back once since then, when we were together… Being here with him on a nice day, he sort of taught/helped me learn the way, the art of sitting at peace in nature, despite being in a city, not needing to be on your phone, fidgeting or anything. To enjoy the company you’re with, where you’re at. I think part of it was him trying to show me how he relaxes, how he finds center without adrenaline rushes and a constant surround of chaos. If you don’t seek the adrenaline and the rush to feel something outside of whatever it is you’re feeling or don’t want to feel, and embrace it instead, or just be with it, be at peace in it for a while, that chaos won’t seek you out either.

It’d be nice to have him here with me again, more time spent… But I’m content here just as I am, for now.

Write it out baby, just write it out…

I don’t know where people get off with some of their questions and assumptions sometimes.

Because I don’t talk endlessly about my relationship, or because I say that I haven’t heard from M much (I was on vacation, and he is recovering from being sick)… Someone thinks they can say my relationship is in question or isn’t a good one, and then proceed to ask me out? Yep. A male someone. Like on a date. Juuust like.

If in any way, shape or form, you think that is gonna fly, you’ve got another thing coming. One, M and I’s relationship is not your business-I’m happy with him, that’s all you need to know; two, I take it very seriously and value it with almost a sacred regard; three, if I become a cheater (which goes against my relationship beliefs in any case) I would cease to be the person you thought you were asking out in the first place! Why on God’s green Earth would you expect me to say yes, or even consider it? An ‘M’ letter charm hangs from the necklace I always wear for a reason, and certainly not because my name begins with it!

It’s been eating at me, though, because this actually happened between a relatively new guy friend and I, and I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. I made it clear, even intentionally bringing M up in conversations. I try and make sure when I talk to any guy that I don’t already have an established friendship boundary with, or a mutual lack of romantic interest, that I talk about M more than once, to kind of solidify that fact to them. How does something so seemingly simple get so lost in translation?

MEN. They aren’t always thinking with/using the brain in their noggin, I’m sure of it. It doesn’t help that I have good bone structure and tall height/low weight working in my favor. Ugh, I think I’m gonna go and hang with M later on… I miss my other Velcro half!

Repost: massive renovating going on!

Purple everything, yay!

smoothpebble studio

5099918030_09ae33a58b_b 1.  Purple Dye , 2.  floater , 3.  violet red: window and lace , 4.  Purple Robot , 5.  purple , 6. Crocheted necklace Purple corals , 7.  64 colors * blue violet , 8.  bounty , 9.  plum , 10.  feeding the goaties , 11.  dancing family , 12.  Welcome doorway , 13.  97/365 ………… Near dark , 14. purple hearts , 15.  Ice CreaM , 16.  gathering

In the meantime enjoy this mosaic related to the color of the year! First thing next week I’ll share some pictures from other tiny house makers, and send out an email to all the participants just to check in.

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‘death makes life more meaningful’ – +44

Journal-written blog post from 2/19/14.

I was reminded tonight, by a loyal/regular customer turned acquaintance- hell, I’d even go so far as to say friend- just how short life can be… His sister died in a bad weather-related car accident this past Sunday night. He said they were close. He is taking it really well from what I could glean just in chatting with him for a bit, but it sounds like everyone loved his sister very much. A friend/barista from the coffee stand his sister used to frequent called him up and shared some memories of her, he told me. We also talked a little about the memorial service that will be happening, as well as the tattoos he will be getting in her memory.

Tell the people who matter to you that you love and appreciate them. No time is too soon to say it, but any time could be too late.


‘Chasing The Sun’ – Sara Bareilles

I’m also so glad that M and I can go and DO things together… Real activities. Skiing, biking, yoga. You only get one life, why spend it attached to your electronics or cooped up inside watching bad television, breathing stale air all the time? (Yes, that’s okay sometimes and in moderation, in my world, but still.) He has taught me a lot more about taking care of yourself and being fit and healthy… But mostly about not being a chronic ball of negative energy. It’s much less draining to be more positive.

I’ve read some good quotes lately- usually seen as a typeface written over a photo… This one in particular caught my eye; it’s fitting and I feel it should be applied as a life lesson in everyone’s life…

Become Your Dreams.

Become Your Dreams.

To tie into what I wrote above, anything- good or bad- can happen in one day, one moment, an instant. That’s all it takes and we, as humans, need to realize that more often… NOT just when tragedy occurs. What if tomorrow never comes?

Just one day...

We need to make our own mark on the world, be heard while we can, and do what we love- to have led and lived a full and truly meaningful life. Focus on the good in life and the world, eliminate the negativity, not yelling and screaming about what you dislike/hate, but encouraging and promoting all the things you love and are excited to share with the world, no matter what it may be, and no matter what criticism it may receive. We all will be criticized for what we love in our lives, often times much more than once… But to come out from behind the harsh remarks and stand up against them- using them to make yourself a better, stronger person- THAT is what living positively is about, for the most part. Become immune to negativity like water rolling from a duck’s feathers. I know it’s a challenge in this ‘day and age’, this society, but we have to try. Don’t let your head make things seem so dire and serious all the time. It’s okay to fail and be wrong. Take a deep breath… Be daring. Be brave enough. Go outside, get some fresh air! Drink some more water, you chronically dehydrated people out there like me, and start living your one beautiful, amazing life.

Light, love, truth, beauty, peace. Namaste. (: